My husband, Josh, woke me up a few weeks ago for work because I had overslept. I either forgot to set my alarm or turned it off. But either way, I woke up in a daze and a pool of sweat. I was disoriented and irritated but, I had to get up and get ready for work….. Josh noticed that I was clearly off and sweating so, he suggested I go and take a shower while he got the kids ready for the day. Generally I’m not a morning shower person because showers usually make me tired but, based on how I woke up I would have done practically anything to get out of the funk I was in…..
I went on that day, but the emotional funk never really left me. For weeks I had been trying to figure out why I didn’t feel like myself. I just felt very blah… Or easily agitated. No happy medium. Just a hot mess. As usual I tried to push past these things, but I knew something was off.
So, in November or early December I started a new medication, Cymbalta for my anxiety. Now initially I felt pretty good when I started the meds. Or maybe I was just in a better place mentally and I was living off the high of my happy endorphins and not necessarily having a positive reaction from the meds. Fast forward to literally yesterday and I realized that this medication isn’t for me. Yesterday, while having text convo with one of my besties I decided to look up the side effects for Cymbalta and ya’ll…… I practically have EVERY side effect. From random stomach pains, night sweats, constant agitation, impulsive behavior, practically no libido (my poor husband). Help me Jesus!
Now, either I’m a complete idiot or I just really wanted to believe that this medication would work since I experienced a bit of a slump over the summer months. I guess I just wanted to believe that this would work and everything would be ok. I’d be able to have a normal life and get back to my old self…. But the reality is there’s no such thing as normal.
If I’m completely honest I haven’t been taking my meds regularly since we traveled north for the holiday season, but now I’m making a constant decision to NOT take this medication anymore. I have a doctor’s appointment this week to see what my options are, but it’s time to do something different…. So we’ll see what tomorrow brings and I’ll be sure to share what happens!
What’s today’s lesson? Listen to your body. Take time for yourself. If something isn’t right, seek professional medical help. Don’t struggle and sit in silence. Believe me…. It’s totally NOT worth it!
Until next time…. Peace, Love & Light!